The idea of hell

Hell...

Still there,lingering in my mind like always,are myriad thoughts buzzing in my head,seemingly unimportant.They comprise of,for worse than better,all the seemingly inane assortment of incidents which revolve around my world.An eerie thought then struck me hard.Being a bit of an introvert,I had always kept to myself or stuck around with those few I found comforting.Yes,like a few angry men around me,I was slightly cynical and misanthropic.These qualities started consuming me even more as they rippled through common aspects of life of mine-The music I listened to,what I read,how I perceived the subtleties.Optimism was the occasional passing fad.I always felt that all this was inherently justified.Malicious,selfish,untrustworthy and unforgiving were some of the traits which I always sought to see.The society we live in probably does resonate with such imagery.I let this picture,the bigger picture I always assumed,fuel my anger,leave a lasting impression on my behaviour,here in the hostel and college too.I had crept into caverns of isolation and those whom I thought of as friends and those whom I never gave a damn about,had made this life of mine,living hell.
Not until recently did I come to grips with the true meaning of Hell.I'd always found refuge behind all the frustration I'd vent off from my own past.My past so plagued with ignominious debacles, I refused to see as my own fault and there began the blame-game without me ever realizing it.Behind the courageous words were just the transient glory I always chased.The future took an imminent course to oblivion.This behaviour never did make a man of real substance but was just a pretext for not being one.As I stood further aloof,I only grew more frustrated which is when I realized that I longed for them,for my new home.Now I would've probably never realized this inconvenient truth if not for this new found home of mine-Where I found brothers who stick out for you,inspire love,whom I never did seek,yet found.Where those with their eccentricities and ingenuity inspire respect and those despite their shortcomings in life,without a lot in their repertoire,their ignorance of blatant flaws all around inspire hope with their diligence and innocence.Where there are those who mock you and your presence without whom there would no longer be hunger in me to prove a point.Where some folks take it upon themselves to annoy you,get you all flared up and evoke thoughts which only to make you realize that just because you're losing doesn't necessarily mean you've lost.What had once blinded me,of which I was once proud of,has only proved my downfall.As I take short strides on this new journey,which is yet to convey all it's subtle nuances leaves me pondering at times.I hadn't quite understood the meaning of hell until I met y'all.Hell is not the 4 years which I'm bound to spend here.It's the time which ensues it...